Twilight
by remote mine
Summary: Complete - Rinoa had left Squall years ago. Why? What for? A reconsideration of one story aspect: what if Squall and Rinoa's meeting wasn't a coincidence?
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII and all its characters belong to SquareSoft.  
  
Twilight by remote_mine  
  
Prologue  
  
Seven years.  
  
Seven years, two months.  
  
Seven years, two months, and thirteen days since she left.  
  
He still couldn't believe it. Of all things, all they had gone through together ... he was abandoned, left alone to suffer.  
  
It was going to end. He had made his decision. His final choice was engraved in stone upon his heart. The last seven years had passed by with him taking in no detail, living on a day by day basis, wondering if she even cared. Now he knew better. The past was over with. He had started a search as soon as he made that decision, and there was still no sign of her. It didn't matter. He was going to find her no matter what.  
  
He had already stepped down from Commander, and knew what that entailed. His dream in SeeD was just that, a dream. None of it mattered. He had made the decision long ago, and he knew it was the right one. Garden would last for years to come, but not he. It was inevitable; Garden had a flood of SeeD applications and mission requests after Ultimecia's defeat brought about fame especially for Balamb Garden. Nida, the new commander, would be able to command Garden much more effectively than he would.  
  
He knew the search was pointless. If Rinoa didn't want to be found, no one could find her. It made no difference to him. He had only one reason left to live on for, and that wouldn't be prevented by her wishes. It all came down to one fact: he had nothing after this to live for. 


	2. Octavus Anni

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII and all its characters belong to SquareSoft.

**Twilight by remote_mine******

Chapter 1 – Octavus Anni

He sat at his desk, head hunched over the numerous papers. The dim desk lamp barely gave him enough light to read the reports, making him squint. Those cursed papers that never had the information that he wanted. Only vague reports on supposed locations of where Rinoa could be. No hard, verifiable fact in the mountain of papers. All those people he had hired for the search and no one could find anything on Rinoa's whereabouts. It was like she disappeared.

Zell sighed and leaned back in his chair as he remembered how broken Squall had been when Rinoa had left him. _It just didn't make any sense. Why would she leave? What for? Such a perfect fit for each other, and then suddenly she's saying that she has to go. And here he was, running a search on the behalf of Squall Leonhart, former SeeD. The search had been running for over a year, and still there was absolutely no sign of her being even on the planet. He slammed his fist on the table in frustration at the enormity of the task. It was to find one person, who probably didn't want to be found. A famous person that people might have recognized, but only six were her friends. _We were her friends. Were being the key word. I don't think she thinks of us as friends anymore. No matter what, we were always her friends, though. And one of us truly loved her. Was it because of us that she left? _He muttered as he ran his eyes through the words of the useless reports, which could be simplified to saying "Sorry boss, no luck." He had to find her, as he knew that she was the only one that could fix things, make everything right._

He knew Squall was dying. He could see the changes in him; Squall just didn't have any real reason to live. Squall didn't _want to live. His one love had left him, saying that she had to. It had almost been eight years, and that solitary guy didn't have anything to hold onto. He remembered that Squall had someone walk right out of his life; not once, but twice. The second was worse, as Squall had to break down his barriers erected from the first time to meet her. And nothing any of his friends did had helped Squall out of the semi-daze that he seemed to wear in self-protection. Squall was still excellent at virtually everything he did including battle, but Zell knew that his heart wasn't in it anymore. Some of those girls that seemed to have liked him were hitting on him even more, and they definitely didn't help him. It was Quistis, resorting to threatening them with detention that finally drove them away. __Well, at least Quistis got over him. He grinned as he recalled the expression of shock on Selphie's face and Irvine's "you go, girl" smirk when Quistis had told them that she got over Squall, and that she had been going out with one of the other instructors for some time already._

He remembered when he saw Rinoa leave. He remembered hearing those words that tore apart Squall while he was standing there. He remembered the hollow look in Squall's eyes as they followed her out the doors of Balamb Garden.

_"I love you, so I have to leave. Don't forget me. I'll come back. I promise."_

Those words echoed in his mind, and they confused him even more. Thoughts he had that pestered him for years came up again. _So she loves him, but she's going to leave? How could you love him if you're going to leave him when he needs you the most? Don't you remember what he told you about Sis? When Sis left, he was destroyed. And now you're leaving him. And this time, I don't think someone is going to waltz into his life and make it better. Why would you do that to him, if you love him?_

He remembered seeing that Rinoa still had Griever on her necklace when she walked out of Garden, leaving a broken Squall behind. _Why are you keeping the ring if you're leaving? So he searched for her, for she was the only one that could give an answer to those questions left unanswered._

~-~

She stood in the water, thinking about what had gone on with the rest of her friends during her absence. She reminisced over the events past, and suddenly the image of Squall's face appeared in her mind. His rugged features, the scar given to him by Seifer, his guarded eyes. A taste of regret filled her throat as she wondered if he still thought about her. Shaking her head, she banished the thoughts from her mind. _After all these years, I still love him. Because of my love, I had to leave. But the feeling stayed with her as she got her mind off of Squall and took in the surroundings of the beach; the moonlight was reflecting off of the surface of the water, the waves cascading around her ankles to gently lap at the beach over and over, and the stars twinkling in the sky, far above._

She remembered that hated day when she had left him, walking out of Garden. She had to; she had no choice. That day when she left, she had told him, "I love you, so I have to leave. Don't forget me. I'll come back. I promise." That single minute haunted her, plagued her, and followed her everywhere. It was almost eight years since the day she had left, and the pain never faded. A slight wind chilled her skin as she strode out further in the shallow water, the water playing tricks with the light. She shivered as she remembered what had caused her to meet Squall. Those memories that she had tried to suppress for years would come even when refused, to torture her as she thought of what might have happened and what truly happened. There was no changing the past, and she acknowledged it, feeling even more hopeless as the dreadful past played back unbidden.

The ballroom dance. Her chanced first meeting with Squall; but only two people knew the truth behind that dance. One's hatred; another's love. That dance she had dragged Squall into, everyone thought of as spontaneous, but she knew better. It wasn't just a coincidence that she was at the ball, as it wasn't just a coincidence that she saw Squall. The only thing unplanned was the shooting star, and that wasn't big in the scheme of things. That fateful night, she knew that Squall was going to be there, and she knew that Seifer wasn't. That one night was a single step in the long scheme of things, and it played out the way she hoped. She remembered the fluttery feeling that she had when she walked over to him, and had passed it off to nervousness; after all, what if he really didn't want to dance? The fluttery feeling turned into one of flying as he finally got the steps right and it truly felt like she was dancing on clouds. But that perfect dance came to an end after she had spotted Cid and went off to discuss Forest Owl's liberation of Timber. She knew she would see him again, the next time with him working as a SeeD under Forest Owl. Forest Owl wasn't a setup, as they definitely could use some help. So they planned for Squall's fall using the group to their advantage.

She recalled Seifer telling her about sneaking around in the middle of the night, the thrill of avoiding the Garden Masters patrolling the corridors as he had snuck up to Cid's computer. The smirk grew deeper as he had relayed how he had broken into Garden's database and ensured a few, vital changes. One specific change guaranteed that Squall would be assigned to Forest Owl's mission. The assignment of Squall to her mission wasn't a coincidence. Neither of their meetings were 'just a coincidence.'

She knew the truth behind it all. Seifer had wanted to get back at Squall, and he knew how lonely Squall had been in his entire life. The perfect plan; when Squall loved her, she would leave him. It was Seifer's game to destroy Squall.

_"He must like you. You actually got him off his favorite wall."_

The summer that Rinoa and Seifer had spent together, they thought they had found their loves. And out of that love, Rinoa had chosen to do as Seifer asked; to destroy his rival. To make him fall in love with her and then leave him. And that was their day of parting ways, to find each other after.

Their pledges bound them.

_"If you fall in love with him, don't worry. I'll eliminate him."_

_"If I fall in love with him, I'll kill him. I know I love you."_

And she couldn't. She had fallen for him sometime during the war against Sorceress Ultimecia, and knew she would die if he died. So she left to save both of them, and hid her love for Squall from everything. From her first love. From her dreams. From herself. So she returned to Seifer, pretending that she never loved Squall at any point. She made herself block out the memories of them together, so that no unintentionally spoken word could betray her. She pretended that she still loved Seifer, for eight years. Eight years she wished she could erase. Eight long years. During the last few months the suppressed memories had started to break through her self-imposed barriers, weakening her self-control. Those lost moments forced her to go out to the beach, to try to calm the raging emotions that she fought continuously.

She knew he was dying. Her mind felt the fading of his spirit, dimming slowly while approaching demise. The grief she must have caused him was eating him away. And she felt it too; their separation was tearing her apart just as much at him. Tears dripped from her face as the suffering slowly consumed her, bit by bit. Two lonely hearts, finding their true love but destined to be apart. Despair clenched her heart as she felt hopelessness bubble up from the fact that nothing could be done.

~-~

Seifer woke, and felt a strange uneasiness. The bed next to him was empty. He groaned as he sat up and looked out the window. The moonlight reflecting off the water silhouetted a single figure in the water. _So there she is. He knew that she enjoyed going out to the beach, to gaze at the untamed ocean. __But at this hour that's not the reason. Getting up, he stretched as his muscles ached from his training the day before. The stiffness woke him up even though he had been asleep for no more than a few hours; the moon was still high up in the sky. Something was bothering her, and he knew that it weighed heavily on her mind. The past month, he noticed that she seemed to drift off a bit more often and she had taken to going to the beach in the middle of the night, like now. Something made him feel that this time was even worse, so he decided to go check up on her. Putting on a cloak, he slightly shivered as the cool wind blew in from the open window._

He stepped outside and walked toward the beach, quietly as not to disturb her. And then he saw her tears. The tears that dripped from her face, to disappear into the ebbing surf, lost into the watery expanse. _She's ... crying? Something was wrong. She seemed to be so happy and carefree generally that her tears must have been over something from her past that devastated her. He wanted to reach out to her, to comfort her. Even so, he couldn't interrupt her. It was a personal demon that only she could deal with, and he knew he would make it worse. So he watched. He watched while the moon slowly made its way through the sky, to sink beyond the horizon. He watched as she didn't even look around, crying her heart out, oblivious to the world around her. And the uneasiness returned in full force, and he knew she wasn't happy here; he knew that they never truly loved each other. He knew._

_Maybe that's what first love is; a love to define the meaning of love, to know when you truly love someone._ She belonged with someone else, and he understood. He felt more than thought that that person was Squall. He was the one person that would make her happy. It made sense. _The time they spent together during the war against Ultimecia was when she must have fallen in love with him. And she left him because of what we had planned. She loves him, and I can see that. Who am I to deny their happiness?_ He didn't belong with her either. Out there in the world was someone that he would truly be happy with, and that person wasn't Rinoa. _We were fooling ourselves. This isn't love. This is a self-imposed prison. He had to set her free, so he could free himself too._

He approached her as light began to peek over the horizon, knowing that this was something both of them needed to move on. He had set himself so deeply on destroying Squall, and he had accomplished that. And he dragged Rinoa into that, and now he understood that she loved Squall. The rivalry between Squall and him was because of his jealousy for how Squall seemed to be the center of attention all the time. And he had destroyed some part of Squall with his rash decisions, and regretted it. One action to redeem himself; everyone deserved some happiness in their life. He knew he couldn't ever make up the past, but he could give Squall a better future. So he made this decision knowing there was no turning back. Finally reaching the water, he called out to her. He looked into her eyes as she turned around, and knew her pain.

"I finally understand. Go. Return to him. Heal your lives."

The hope that returned to her eyes confirmed that he had made the right decision. He knew that this might be the last time seeing each other, but he didn't regret it. If he ever saw her again, she would be much happier than she was here, and that was what truly mattered.

For this angel needed her lion.

-----

A/N: I changed the summary as I originally intended for this to be angst with a bit of romance, but instead I decided on merging this with another idea I had in mind. It'll still be angsty, but it'll be more balanced in terms of romance and angst. I hope that you guys will enjoy this story. Thanks for the reviews!

If there's someone willing to beta-read my chapters, send me an email or an IM. Again, thanks!


	3. Defaeco

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII and all its characters is property of Squaresoft.

**Twilight** by remote_mine

Chapter Two – Defaeco

Squall felt those long suppressed emotions wash over him. An unearthly calm settled over his body, making him relax his tense muscles. The nightmare that had haunted him continuously after she had left him claimed him yet once again, making him uneasily lose his consciousness. It made him think. It made him remember.

_What did I do to deserve this?_

His nightmare returned to him. It used to be only one of his unforgotten memories of the Sorceress War, but that was before she left. Now it only came to haunt him.

Space. When he had ejected himself from the escape pod and went after her, guiding her to the Ragnarok that was when he had admitted to himself that he actually cared for her. He knew he couldn't understand the emotions that he felt for her, but he struggled to clear up his confusion. And that's when he knew.

On some subconscious level deeply hidden, he knew he loved her. There was no turning back at that point. It explained why it hurt so much when she had wanted to go with the Estharian soldiers to have her powers sealed. He didn't want her to go, because unknowingly he felt the love that he had for the young, raven-haired sorceress.

The world didn't matter; only she did.

He honored her wishes on the sole fact that it seemed like she really wanted it, but his heart knew better. His brain only caught up when he realized how glad he was when he had gone to rescue her and saw her with her arms outstretched, to embrace him. That was the closest anyone had ever been to him since Sis left. And the memory faded to that of when he found himself in her embrace in the middle of the flower field, feeling so tired yet content with her by his side.

The moment when he had finally admitted to himself that maybe people couldn't live their life while shutting everyone out. He had tried, and he had failed. He needed someone to help him. She was the one who got him out of time compression.

He needed _her_. And after all these years, he still needed her.

It was like an infection; his reliance on her ate away at him, leaving him a shadow of his former self. No one truly knew what had happened when she walked out. He wasn't just hurt, or felt as if his soul was torn in two; he died. Then and there, he had already given up.

The promise she had made gave him hope, but after a few months it had faded away. A false hope and half a year later, his mind had believed that she was never coming back. His heart finally believed it too. He had stubbornly clung onto her words those first months when he believed that she would show up again someday, and he could wrap his arms around her, hold her, kiss her, and she would never leave him again.

Cold reality slapped him on the face when one day, he admitted to himself that she wasn't coming back. And that was when his spirit died. His body was functional; his habits were so engrained that he would eat and sleep without him even consciously thinking about it.

The other part of him died. The part that had thought that she was right when she had said that no one can go through life alone. The part that had trusted her when she had said that she wasn't going to leave him. The part that had loved her.

Only his physical body remained. And this shell of the former SeeD Commander was there to give her a final message. After that, he didn't care what happened. Even if Rinoa stabbed him through the heart, he wouldn't care. He would welcome death with open arms. The willingness to live on that he had only felt with her had dissipated along with her presence leaving Balamb Garden. Before he met her, he had been lost. Now, the only person he cared for left him, and it was even worse than death. Nothing in the world mattered to him anymore. The temptation was there. One single little cut, and all his problems would be over.

_I don't feel anything anymore, so what's the point? If she came back now, it's probably too late. Pick up my gunblade, slash my left wrist. The pain would probably not even make an impact on my senses. I had cared so much, I lost it all. I can't feel anything anymore._ But he couldn't. He knew he couldn't. Not yet, at least.

~-~

Those same dreams had changed into something else. It was like darkness. A darkness that ate at her, leaving her hopeless and vulnerable. And nothing could stop it. Those dreams that plagued her ever since she left; now, they had changed. They were different. An odd sense of foreboding filled her as she watched with horror at the events unfolding.

_This was what the future would hold_. _But I must stop it_.

The dream, no, nightmare, that filled her mind was one that shook her through and through. But she could never remember the jarring impact it had on her emotions when she woke up.

Her eyes trailed down to the slash in his chest while she was frozen, not a foot away from him. And she couldn't do anything as the blood gushed out of that fatal wound, taking his life away from him. She felt the horror as her mind felt his spirit receding from her connection with him, leaving an emptiness that couldn't be characterized by mere words. Then the darkness covered him, leaving behind only the stained ground that mocked her for her failure.

The scene before her eyes suddenly vanished entirely as her mind was filled with the sensations of morning. Rinoa groaned as she lazily opened her eyes, looking around and slowly remembering where she was.

_Timber_.

Her life spent away from home was here, where she had most of her good memories. Her father, General Caraway, was so overprotective during her childhood that she felt something was missing. And she found it in Timber, after she had run away from home. She found her freedom here away from regulations and fame.

Getting up, she remembered the long train ride that had taken her from Winhill hours ago, to find Balamb Garden. It was constantly on the move since they had found it was mobile, and it was never in the same place for too long in fear of terrorist attacks. So she had to find out where it was and get to it before it moved too far. She could contact them, but she wasn't sure if they would even want to pick her up. Quickly dressing, she sighed as she walked into the bathroom of the hotel that she had stayed at overnight. Her memories came back again as she remembered the fight that she had with Squall over at the TV station. Those words he said had stung her deeply.

_"How serious are you ...? Really ...? The three of you plop down on the floor to discuss strategy? On top of that, you can't make a decision without our input, right? How do you think we feel, working for such an organization?"_

And she remembered the bitterness that lingered in her throat at his insult that was probably unintentional, but was still there. She cared so much about her resistance group, even if she had dragged Squall into it for the sole purpose of doing what Seifer wanted. _It's not a game. It was never a game_. Those were her thoughts that she remembered when she was talking to Squall about Forest Owl. _And now I made things worse. For everyone. My stupid little game with Seifer_.

Finishing packing, she checked out of the hotel and walked toward the train station. If anywhere, the best place to start looking would be Fisherman's Horizon. That was where Balamb Garden was normally docked after they had the Ragnarok.

She shuddered as another memory that she had long cherished and had loathed at the same time came up.

_The Ragnarok_.

When Squall had comforted her by just being there, holding her even though he cringed at physical contact. And that was when she knew that her feelings for Squall had progressed far more than '_I want to get close to him to make him open up_.' Then it was, she knew. And she knew what she felt for the SeeD that was with her, comforting her.

She felt her love for him. Not love like a friend's, but one of wanting to know the person so intimately that there would be no bounds between them. She knew how much it would hurt to leave him. So she opted for the easy way out. She chose to be sealed away, so she couldn't hurt Squall and herself anymore.

Being a sorceress was her explanation of her decision to him. And when Squall had rescued her from the Sorceress Memorial, she was half-torn between staying so she wouldn't hurt them, and also being happy that he had come for her.

That was the moment when their hearts had found each other, one short moment and one long eternity. The way he hugged her and stroked her hair almost made tears escape from her eyes as she was struck by how much he cared. For her. Not for anyone else, but for _her_. And she had let it all go.

Now was her second chance, and she wasn't going to let it escape from her grasp. When she believed that she was right in leaving Squall, it was a lie. She knew, and it tore her apart now. She had to get back to him. She needed to heal things, one step at a time.

_I never should have made that promise. But now is not the time for regrets, now is the time to change things._

And with strengthened resolve, she boarded the train heading for FH.

~-~

_"Your new mission is to find the Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly."_

_Oh, crap_.

Those were the first words that had popped into Irvine's mind when he heard that one sentence. And it had been a bit longer than half a year after the conclusion of the war against Ultimecia.

The Garden had suddenly become awash with rumors as people were talking about the Commander's old relationship with the Sorceress. Irvine remembered those words that were spoken about how Rinoa had put a spell onto Squall, or that Squall was blind to her true nature. He remembered that Rinoa had left less than a month before, and Squall had been devastated. Squall became a true island; nothing seemed to touch him. Only the Estharians hunting for Rinoa seemed to barely shock him. And not a week later, SeeD had discovered that it was Doctor Odine who leaked the information and reported that he wanted to re-seal her in the Sorceress Memorial for the 'good of ze world.'

_Maybe it was a good thing she left right before then. Odine, that idiot. I don't believe that one bit. Rinoa would never hurt anyone intentionally if she didn't have to._

He was one of the SeeDs who were being hired by the Estharian government to find her. But he knew he could never betray a friend. So he played along willingly, making sure he would find her first so that she could escape.

He recalled one nasty mission barely a month after the news broke out where Squall had nearly gotten his right arm dismembered, and it hadn't even slowed the speed that he lashed out his gunblade at the monsters attacking him.

_I thought he had changed_.

But Irvine knew how much Squall had changed. Squall was nothing like how he was when Rinoa was around. That blank look in Squall's eyes struck fear into Irvine whenever he happened to glance his way. Irvine sensed that something was going to happen, and he didn't like how Squall wouldn't even _talk_ to anyone about Rinoa leaving. Whenever the topic came up, Squall would change the subject or ignore it. Something about it made him worry, and he could never get the feeling out of his head. It seemed like Squall was intentionally repressing the memory of her leaving, and it made Irvine wonder what Squall was really up to.

Shaking his head, he silently berated himself.

_That's just paranoia talking. Squall's fine. He always pulls through. No one can compare with him. Even when Squall nearly had his limbs broken after Griever's Shockwave Pulsar, he still fought harder and better than I've ever seen anyone fight, and that's saying something. He'll get through this, find someone, and get his mind off of Rinoa. Maybe he'll even be happy again._

He would never believe how wrong he was this time.

---

A/N: Wow. Thanks for all the reviews of the Prologue and the first chapter. All your guys' encouragement meant a lot to me. I'll try to update this fic every two weeks or so, my schedule allowing.

bembem: Thanks for beta-reading this chapter. Your suggestions were quite helpful. I just realized that I probably gave you a headache because I hadn't spaced the paragraphs distinctly. Sorry! Thanks so much for the help!


	4. Indagatio

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII and all its characters is property of SquareSoft

**Twilight** by remote_mine

Chapter 3 – Indagatio

_I must be dreaming._

One single phrase caught his attention. One phrase he hoped he hadn't mistaken. He reread it. And reread it, almost refusing to believe what he had read. Rubbing his eyes, he looked again at the paper, and now he was convinced that it wasn't just a hallucination.

_"A person that has the appearance of the Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly has been seen leaving a hotel in Timber."_

He had to tell someone, immediately. Pushing a button, he spoke into the intercom on his desk.

"SeeD Irvine Kinneas, report to SeeD Zell Dincht's office."

Zell waited impatiently, hoping that there would be some clue left when Irvine was able to continue his mission. Zell recalled the special designation that had been given to Irvine. Irvine wasn't part of the normal mission, as he was assigned specifically to stay on the Garden and have other people to find any clue as to where she was. Irvine was the one that was supposed to finalize the approach if they had a chance of running into her, as she would be less likely to attack a friend if she was hostile.

A knock on the door was heard. Getting up from his seat, he walked over to the door and opened it. Irvine was standing there, with a semi-puzzled look on his face.

"Come in." Zell turned back to his desk, looking for that one report he had just seen. Finding it, he turned back to Irvine. "Here."

He watched Irvine's eyes widen quite a bit as he digested what was in the report.

_Looks like there's some hope after all, isn't there? Maybe those questions unanswered can finally be answered._

"This is your next assignment, Irvine. We are currently four hours away from Timber. The moment we stop, you are to go into the city of Timber and search for any clues as to where Rinoa had gone."

"Yes, sir." With that, Irvine took the report and left, leaving Zell to his thoughts.

_After eight years, she finally shows up. I can't believe it._

He decided that Squall definitely needed to be told. He wasn't so sure if it was the best idea, but it would probably help Squall deal with the problem some. The only reason he decided on telling Squall was because it was a commitment to a friend; normal SeeD policy dictated that only those who were necessary to know the details of a mission were to be told. He justified telling Squall through one thought:

_At least Squall would know that she's alive. He would be probably even worse off if he thought she died_.

Walking out of his office, he locked the door. He had no idea where Squall would be at this time of the day, so he decided to go to his room first. He knocked on the door. No response.

_Hmm, maybe he's not here._

The Training Center was probably the next most logical place to look, as he remembered that Squall always liked to fight. Going back into the main ring that connected the parts of the Garden, he walked toward the Training Center. Just inside the door he saw a bunch of dead Grats, and he could recognize the slash marks of a gunblade.

_Must be fighting something to take his mind off things_.

He walked deeper into the Training Center, the familiar heat and humidity clinging to his skin, making him itchy. Ignoring it, he walked deeper into the jungle overgrowth, looking around for the one person that he considered his best friend. And almost immediately, he saw him taking on a T-Rexaur which seemed infuriated that it could not take a bite out of the person cutting off chunks of its flesh. Zell watched as Squall drove the gunblade into its heart, causing it to fall backwards and land with a loud thud. As Squall cleaned off his gunblade by wiping it on the short grass, Zell approached him.

_Oh man, I hope that he doesn't overreact or do something rash. He's Squall, but maybe Rinoa leaving affected him more than we thought_.

"What." Squall had heard the noise of Zell's boots shuffling through the short grass as he walked toward him.

It wasn't even a question, more like a demand. Zell could see some of the fury in his eyes that was directed at the T-Rexaur had not completely subsided yet. He gulped and organized his thoughts before saying something that he felt was an enormous event to Squall.

"Rinoa has been seen leaving a hotel." He watched, puzzled, as Squall seemed to take that event like someone saying "The weather is nice." He thought that Squall would have wanted to hear news like that, but apparently the reaction he had gotten from Squall told him he had been wrong.

A slight whisper almost went unheard.

"Where?"

Zell nearly shrank back in fear, as the way that Squall said it seemed to back it with a forceful threat even though it was no more than a murmur.

"Timber." He got no response from Squall as he seemed to be totally unfazed by what he had heard. Leaving, Zell walked toward the entrance of the Training Center, pondering the response he had gotten from Squall.

_That's nothing like how I thought he would react. Maybe he got over her? No, then he wouldn't have asked about 'Where.'_

Even more confused than before, he strode to the Cafeteria to get something to eat.

~-~

He paced the room over and over, without paying any attention to where he was walking. The only thing that snapped him out of his reverie was that he almost bumped into the wall when he got a little _too distracted by his thoughts. After being startled, he went straight back to walking back and forth, contemplating the sudden reappearance of Squall's significant other._

_Where was she all those years? Why'd she leave? What's going on? Does she know about the hunt by Esthar, more specifically Odine? None of this is making sense._

Irvine's thoughts flit around his mind at a rapid pace, bring back old questions and making new ones at the same time. The doubts that plagued him hit him again, even worse than before. Something in it flirted with the consciousness of his mind, but he could not grasp what it was or meant. It was teasing him, making him wonder what was seriously going to happen. The thing that finally brought him back to reality was the sudden silence from the Garden's motors as the Garden stopped near Timber. His mission was near.

A loud crackle on the Public Announcement broke the silence that had filled the room. "SeeD Irvine Kinneas report to SeeD Zell Dincht's Office."

_Looks like I'm up. This isn't just some mission. This is for two friends, and I'm definitely _not_ going to fail them. I lost my childhood friends once, and this time I'm not going to lose Squall and the only person he ever loved._

Walking to the elevator, he saw Selphie, who had mellowed slightly over the years but still quite energetic. Acknowledging her presence with a nod, he smiled at her. "Hey, Sefie!"

"Irvine! I was looking for you!" She ran over to him, getting onto the elevator at the same time. "I just saw Squall. He seemed even more depressed than normal."

The arm he had wrapped around her shoulders tensed slightly. "What? Where was he?" Her statement shocked him, because he couldn't believe that Squall could be even worse than before.

_What's going on now? What could make him even more depressed?_

"He was walking out of the dorms. I tried to talk to him, but he didn't respond. So I bugged him, and he finally said he was leaving." The elevator gave off a tone as it stopped on the floor, filling the momentary silence as the doors hissed open.

"I'm going to talk to Zell about my new mission." He released his arm from her shoulders.

"Oh, okay. I'll wait outside for you!" With that, she gave him a peck on the cheek, making him blush slightly at the gesture of affection. He gave her a grin and turned to walk toward Zell's office.

Zell's voice was muffled through the door. "Come in."

Opening the door, Irvine looked at Zell. "I'm thinking that my mission is ready?"

"Yes." Zell was quiet for a moment but spoke again. "I told Squall that we had information on her whereabouts."

Irvine understood why Zell had seemed reluctant to tell him what he had done, and also knew that he would have done the same if he had been in the same situation. _A friend's more important than SeeD protocol._ "How did he take the news?"

"No reaction whatsoever." _But what did Sefie just tell me? Seeing Squall..._

"Come on! Get your butt out of that chair and move it!"

An expression of bewilderment covered Zell's face, as Irvine glared at him. "What?"

"Selphie just said that Squall told her he was leaving."

Hearing that, Zell jumped out of his chair and ran out, slammed the door shut and followed Irvine who had run immediately to where Selphie was waiting. Stopping a few feet from her, he huffed as he caught his breath for a moment. "Zell told Squall earlier about seeing Rinoa in Timber. He told you he was leaving?"

"Yes, he said 'I'm leaving.'" She looked back at Irvine, comprehension dawning on her features. "Oh no. He wants to find her first, doesn't he?"

_I am _not_ going to let Squall do something he'll regret. I don't think he ever got over Rinoa. With a forced calmness, he gave one order. "Let's go."_

The three ran to the elevator, hoping against hope that they might be able to catch him before he got too far.

Irvine led the way, stopping at the entrance. Looking at the gatekeeper, he questioned him. "Did you see someone leave a few minutes ago?"

"SeeD Leonhart left a few minutes ago. He said he needed to do something important, and he _was the Commander before, so I let him go."_

That was the only answer Irvine needed, as he ran out of the Garden, wondering where Squall could have gone. The bitter coldness of the night whipped at his jacket, making him shiver. Stars twinkled brightly, giving everything a washed out look. Approaching Timber's entrance, he turned back to Zell and Selphie trailing him while thinking of possible courses of action. "Zell, you check the hotel and ask for information. Selphie, come with me."

Irvine walked past the hotel, wondering if Squall was still at Timber. "Sefie, any idea of where to look?"

"Let's check the train stations!" She ran off ahead, forcing Irvine to sprint to keep up.

_I'm not in shape anymore. Must be the fact I use a gun._

She disappeared off behind the pet shop, only to appear moments later while shaking her head. "That one's not open."

He grumbled and remembered the last time he had been here with the rest of the gang. It had been when they were celebrating the liberation of Timber, when Galbadia had finally acceded to releasing Timber.

_Rinoa__ looked so happy with Squall by her side. Now Squall wants to do something, and I have no idea what. Great, now I remember. They had added more train stations to link Timber to the rest of the world._

"Let's check the other ones, then." With that, they took off at a sprint toward the rest of the train stations, wondering if any of the train stations were open at this hour. Bright moving lights from the side caught his attention. A train was pulling out, leaving behind dust. "Sefie! That one!"

He ran ahead of Selphie to the station while looking after the departing train, wondering as to why he hadn't noticed that one earlier. Spotting the train attendant, he rushed up to her while Selphie waited some distance away.

She looked at him, and shook her head. "No more trains heading for Fisherman's Horizon tonight. We're closed."

_Is that where Squall went?_

He took out his identification card and held it up for her to read. "Irvine Kinneas, SeeD from Balamb Garden. Was there a man carrying a gunblade that just boarded that train? That would be Commander Leonhart."

"Yes, he was carrying a blue gunblade. That was the famous Commander Leonhart? I didn't recognize him. He seemed to be preoccupied about something."

That was all Irvine needed to hear. He turned to Selphie, and gave her a look that told her that Squall was gone. Bringing out his radio's mouthpiece, he flipped the radio communicator to the frequency Zell's radio was on. "Zell, come in!"

A crackle of static was the only reply to Irvine's voice. "Zell, can you hear me?!"

Nothing. Only more static. "Zell's not picking up. Let's go find him." With that, they ran off back through the streets of Timber. A sudden voice coming from his earpiece startled him. "Find something, Irvine?"

"Squall's gone on a train headed for Fisherman's Horizon."

"The person at the hotel told me that there was someone who had checked into the hotel that did look like Rinoa, and she left in the morning. He saw her head for the new train stations. And not ten minutes ago, some guy came in here and asked if they knew where a person with dark hair and brown streaks had gone to."

"Guess he found out where she's going. We've got to find her first, before Squall does. Something tells me that he wants to do something drastic because of her turning up."

"Head back to Garden. We're going to FH."

~-~

The dim starlight highlighted the outline of the lone figure in the room. She lay on the bed, controlling her breathing. It was a futile attempt, as every time she thought of her past or future, her breaths would quickly escape her control. But it didn't really matter. She had been given a second chance, one which she knew she didn't deserve.

Rinoa stretched out, taking as much room in the bed as possible. The train ride had taken longer than she expected, but she had to start somewhere. FH was the most logical place, as Balamb Garden docked there frequently during the Sorceress War plus the Ragnarok could usually be found there.

_Eight years. Eight years, and I'm finally free. I have to see Squall._

Feelings of fear started to creep through her.

_What if he doesn't want to see me? Will he ever forgive me?_

Yet she knew she owed it to him to fulfill her promise to him. She was afraid. Afraid of what had happened in her absence, afraid of the future. She could see that the only way to live on without regrets was to fight for what she wanted. She wanted to be by Squall's side, through life and till death. Even so, more doubts plagued her.

_Maybe he hates me for what I did. If he does, I'll never be able to forgive myself. I don't know how much I hurt him, but I have to try to heal it. He's given me more than I ever deserved, and I did what all the other people in his life had done: left him._

With those thoughts, she slowly drifted off into a state between unconsciousness and dreaming. And those dreams that always followed her rematerialized, to haunt her.

She could see the blood gushing out of that gash in his chest, and the darkness slowly creep up around him. Nothing she tried helped, the blood dripping down his clothes to stain the ground. The pain and agony ripped through her mind once more, leaving her paralyzed. And again the darkness overtook him, leaving only his blood behind as a final symbol for her failure to protect her knight.

She awoke panting heavily, and thoughts hidden came to her.

_A Sorceress and her Knight are bound together. Both must protect each other, for a Knight without their Sorceress is one doomed to pain and suffering. But a Sorceress who loses their Knight loses sight of who they are._

Rubbing her eyes, she tried to reorganize her thoughts into something more coherent.

_I was to protect Squall just as he was to protect me. I failed him when I left. I never should have left. He protected me, saved me and I couldn't save him. The last thing I can do is to try to save him from the hell he's going through. I have to try._

Sudden lights that shone through the window momentarily blinded her. Rubbing her eyes, her vision cleared somewhat. And when she opened them again, she was certain she was dreaming. She could see Balamb Garden through her window, and tried to wake up. And when she got out of bed and her feet touched the cold oak floors, she knew she wasn't dreaming. Hurriedly dressing, she hoped that she would be able to talk to one of her old friends and be allowed onto Garden, even for just a few minutes.

Finished dressing, she nearly ran out of her room and toward the only place she wanted to be. Three people covered by the darkness stepped from the shadowy balcony, slowly approaching her. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness and she recognized all of them. Her friends. "Selphie! Zell! Irvine!"

But the figures didn't reply. Puzzled, she watched them slowly approach her. Their expressions struck terror into her heart as she saw how worried they looked. Too swept up in her emotions, Rinoa ran immediately to Selphie and hugged her tight. "I've wanted to see you guys for so long."

Zell broke the group's silence. "We did too. We need your help. But I want to clear up a few things. Why did you leave?"

She had to tell them. It was the only way for her to have a fresh start. And the enormity of what she had done struck her again, knowing that she would never find respite for her actions.

_But I don't believe I would have ever met Squall if not for that._

That thought was a small excuse for what she had done, and it tormented her.

The expressions that she saw on their faces as she told them the reason made it even harder to bear. She saw their hurt and how they felt betrayed by one that they had willingly befriended. She felt their regret for pushing Squall and her together. She tasted the bitterness of what they thought for her. She heard their silent thoughts of how they despised her.

"Love can control you." That single sentence spoken by Selphie brought her out of her world where she had been torturing herself.

And then she knew what she had felt was what _she thought of her own actions, not them._

_My friends.__ They're truly my friends. They are the ones that love me even though I hate myself for what I have done._

"We need your help. I told Squall of your reappearance in Timber, and he left the moment we stopped there. We found out he was heading here. I don't know what he wants to do, but it involves you in some way. I might be asking you a lot, but if you love Squall, do this for him. Tell him the truth. That's the only way you two will be able to have a new start." Zell's voice still echoed in her mind even after he stopped talking.

"I will. I made a promise to him, and I won't lose him." Her voice was quiet, and it was almost a relief to say those words. A weight had been lifted off her. So she stepped into the Garden's entrance, waiting for the moment. She waited for the moment where she would be able to look again at the only person she truly loved.

Time has a curious pattern. Whenever a person goes through life, the consistency of time seems to fluctuate. A person enjoying something, and time will fly by faster than their knowledge. A person loathing something, and time slows down exponentially. But when faced with waiting that is when time is at its most inconsistent. One who wants time to slow, it suddenly seems to pick up in speed. And when one wants time to speed up, time slows.

But the time Rinoa spent waiting for Squall seemed an eternity and an instant. She wanted to see him so badly, and feared their reunion just the same. She didn't know how he would react when he found out the truth, and she knew it was her fault for bringing on all this pain and suffering for both. So she waited.

And the time came. She saw three people trailing one lone figure as she sat waiting for him. She watched him as he walked toward her, with an unreadable expression. Those eyes that had a glint of life after the entire Ultimecia fiasco were even duller than before. The frown that she had so vividly remembered the first time she had seen him had returned. She remembered that he had a wonderful smile, and loved how it seemed to change his entire persona. That smile that preceded the kiss he gave her. It was then she admitted that she wanted to stay by his side forever. And she had been the cause of their loss. Taking a deep breath, she told him the truth.

She told him the reason why she left. She told him that she would understand if he never wanted to see her again. She told him that she could never forgive herself for what she had done. She told him the things she hid from the world. She told him everything that she could. And when she saw the utter lack of emotion in his eyes, she knew she had failed him.

But nothing could ever prepare her for what happened next. A sudden movement; she had been abruptly shoved from her seat. Several flashes disrupted the dim lighting, making her momentarily lose her sight. And when her vision came back, she froze in horror and shock.

---

A/N: Sorry for the delay. This fic is nearing an end. One chapter left. There'll also be an Epilogue after that, and I'm hoping that it'll be original. (I've read many, many clichéd romance stories with an end where they live on a beach or in Winhill.)

Rinoa36: I'm sorry if I misled you, but this fic builds off the 'summer' that Seifer and Rinoa were together. Initially a Seifer/Rinoa, it is still Squinoa just like how the game goes. And the conclusion is and will forever be a Squinoa. Sorry if I confused you! Seifer might or might not get a future significant other; it's up to whoever reads it.

bembem: Wow. Thank you so much for your input on this chapter. I didn't really know how this chapter would turn out, and what you said made me reconsider (and re-read) my writing. Thanks for all your help, especially with beta-reading!


	5. Ignosco

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII and all its characters are property of Squaresoft

**Twilight** by remote_mine

Chapter 4 – Ignosco

He watched the two who had gone through so much finally lay bare the truth. And what he saw was nothing more than grief. The shadows where he watched from seemed to darken as he saw how much Rinoa was hurting. And those words that explained the entire situation seemed to shimmer and fade into nonexistence. He couldn't bear to watch the two's reunion, and tore his vision away from them.

And Zell saw something he knew was _wrong_.

_It's __two o'clock__ in the morning._

Two people were walking straight for Squall and Rinoa from behind them, oblivious to the three hidden in the shadows of the balcony. The two were female, and he recognized one; she was one of the people from Odine's lab that had joined Garden to help with the search. A slight reflection of light off something held in their hands caught his attention. He couldn't tell what it was, but his SeeD training told him that their intentions were more than likely not friendly. Creeping over to Irvine, he tapped him on the shoulder.

"Can you tell what those two people are holding?" He whispered directly into Irvine's ear as to not draw attention.

He waited as Irvine took out a pair of binoculars, aiming it directly at the two's hands. Zell barely caught the strap of the binoculars as Irvine dropped it, startled at what he had seen. Taking out his Exeter, Irvine checked the clip and carefully reloaded it while being careful to make no noise. Quickly digging into his pocket, he removed a block-like object that he attached to the barrel, a silencer. He gave Zell a quiet, terse answer. "Guns."

"Shoot to disarm. I'll give a signal, but I want to see if I can knock them out."

Getting up, he hoped that he would be able to get close enough before it was too late. Instant comprehension of why Odine had ordered the search came to his mind.

_Odine__ wants to kill Rinoa. It wasn't for the benefit of the world. It must've benefited him in some way, or else he wouldn't even suggest it._

Observing the scene in front of him, he mentally swore. He couldn't stick to the shadows any longer, and those two females were much closer to Squall and Rinoa than he was. Looking back to see if Irvine finished readying his weapon, he saw that Irvine had his gun aiming directly at their hands. Holding his hand up, he pointed three fingers up. He put down one. And another. And there were none.

Bright flashes of light erupted everywhere, the silenced sounds of gunfire barely making an indent in the relative quiet of the night. Blinded by the sudden change of lighting, Zell hoped that neither of the assassins was dead; he wanted to question them. He blinked away the white flashes of light and looked over at the two women. He knew something went horribly wrong. One of them cradled her arm, blood dripping down her clothes. The other gaped at the sight before her eyes, her weapon still in her hands. Zell followed the sight of that person's gaze to Squall and Rinoa. He didn't want to believe it.

Both Zell and Irvine had forgotten something important. Both forgot one little fact. Both forgot that you can only fire at one target at a time.

His eyes told him the dreadful truth. He saw Squall lying on the ground in Rinoa's embrace, his blood staining her clothes and the floor. Bullets that pierced his chest had been meant for Rinoa, but Squall got in the way. Zell could see the agony that Squall was going through. He knew Squall had gotten in the path of the bullets at the last second, pushing Rinoa out of the way. He could see the pain that both felt. The tears ran down Rinoa's face as she cradled him, her sobs echoing through the area.

_Ever the knight.__ This was the ultimate sacrifice, wasn't it?_

He knew what he had to do. He had to help his friends. And the first thing he could do was to remove the threat.

~-~

His thoughts were muddled, confused. He didn't know what to make of the distorted images that swirled in his vision, ever changing. Streaks of color blurred and were remade into different patterns, taunting him. Nothing he tried made his vision any better or his thoughts any more clear.

Squall laid there, his senses telling him too many different things at once. He could feel everything and nothing at the same time. His thoughts finally organized enough to the point where he could think of what had brought him there.

_I took the bullets that were meant for Rinoa._

When he heard her confession, he felt as if he belonged nowhere. The black and white world became gray. And he still couldn't understand why. He traced his memories back to when he finally noticed the two people a distance behind Rinoa with their arms slowly being raised. And when he saw what they were holding, he didn't even think before his body acted. Nearly jerking her off the bench as he took her place and pushed her behind him, he shielded her with his body. And he took the bullets.

He fought to remember his emotions. He struggled with the darkness that tried to overwhelm him. He clung to his thoughts, hanging onto them as his lifeline. And he started to wonder.

_Why did I take those bullets?_

Maybe that was the fastest way to end the pain. Maybe because he wanted her to live so she could feel the suffering he had. Maybe he couldn't bear to see her die. But it wasn't anything he _thought._

It was something he knew. And he struggled in his thoughts more to understand what he felt. It taunted him, teased his consciousness. His thoughts were like water in his hands, without shape and far too slippery to grasp. He couldn't make sense of it. And he broke through his haze to reality, where the muddled mess straightened a bit more.

Opening his eyes, he watched the tears that dripped down Rinoa's face as she grieved over him. The reality was almost painful for his eyes, clarified beyond his normal vision. Things he never noticed, he took in. He could smell the salt, taste her tears on his skin. The pain of the damage doubled, quadrupled in power, sapping his strength. But he didn't give up. And the ebbing pain gave way to grief, grief for what both he and Rinoa had gone through, overwhelming him. His consciousness wavered between the fine line of dreams and reality, threatening to take him to the darkness.

A sudden rush of memories assailed his mind, making him think of what he _wanted_ to do when he set out to find her. He relived the agony that he went through, her sudden decision of leaving Garden while he was left behind. The hope that died with him had ignited a far deadlier flame, one that crippled his rationality to the point where he wanted to lash out at _her_ for his pain. So the thoughts that sprung were to make her grieve, if she wasn't lying when she left.

_"I love you, so I have to leave."_

He took those words as his revenge, the ultimate revenge. His entire premise was built on that sentence. If _he left her, nothing could possibly abate the suffering that she would come across. He had nothing left on the world for him. Suicide was his answer to both; suicide in front of her, while she was watching would end his meaningless existence and give her what he felt, those years ago when she walked out of his life. And suddenly, he was afraid of death. He couldn't comprehend the staggering feeling of ultimate loss that he would inflict upon two tortured souls, lost in the darkness. Death seemed far too real, but too ultimate; and he questioned himself._

_Is death what I **really wanted?**_

But he knew the answer already. The question was nothing more than a way to make him think of the consequences of his actions. In the moment of lucidity, he admitted what he hadn't to himself those years ago. He never wanted to die; death was so final, something no one could ever escape.

He felt himself being slowly lifted up by several people. The dimmer lights of the Garden's main dome gave way to the bright lights of the Infirmary, making him squint. His chest felt warm, but he couldn't feel the sensation of his clothes against his skin. It gave him an odd feeling of existence, yet not truly there, like a dream that's become reality. That thought flitted across his mind again, making him wonder. With a sudden realization ringing in his mind, he gave in to unconsciousness.

~-~

Even when they removed him from her arms, she couldn't stop crying. Nothing made any sense anymore. Terror gripped her as she had observed how pale his skin had become. And only one thought was in her mind.

_Why?_

Rinoa collapsed to the ground, looking at the blood that stained the floor. And then the memory of her nightmare returned to her, a storm of images. This time, she recalled the pain, the agony that jarred her senses. She remembered how vividly the blood glimmered, and how the darkness crept around him. And the feeling of ultimate loss when he disappeared into the darkness overwhelmed her.

_Why did you take those bullets? After everything I did to you, you still gave your life for mine. Why? I should be the one bleeding to death instead of you._

But she wasn't. She barely felt the arms that helped her up and to the room where Squall lay. And by his side, she looked again to the unconscious form of her knight. Her eyes followed him as he was carried into the operating room, not leaving the doors that closed behind him. Those same emotions came back again, making her fall deeper into the pit of despair. Images from her nightmare stuck in her mind, an instant frozen for eternity. She tried to shut them out but they stayed there, burned into her mind's eye.

She heard nothing of what Zell and Irvine were talking to her about, after they came out of the operating room. Nothing could snap her out of the world she had imprisoned herself in, a final end to everything she lived through. Those words that came out Zell's mouth went unheard. She didn't hear Zell's explanation of Odine's mission and true intent for the study of the power of multiple sorceresses in one, the information finally wrung from the two assassins. All she could hear and see was the blood dripping from Squall's body, the memory of reality superimposed on the image from her nightmares.

And through her grief, she finally noticed. She saw what she hadn't before in the image of Squall on the ground, bleeding. Realization swept over her, as what she had dreamed was a gash in his chest. But a gash isn't the same as bullet wounds. Her nightmare had end in such a predetermined, fatal way. That small fact gave her hope again. Nightmares aren't reality.

She opened her eyes, flinging the images from her mind. And she waited outside the operating room as the doctor operated on him, carefully removing the bullets. She had her hope again.

_I've come this far, and I won't give up. I won't! You've given me more than I deserve. You saved my life far too many times. And I told you the truth of why we met, and even still you're willing to die for me. I won't fail you this time, my knight._

Nervously, she paced the waiting room while hoping that they could be successful in removing the bullets from Squall's body. She knew she had nowhere else to go. If Squall was gone, her place on the world wouldn't exist either. And she stared at the doors that separated her from her love, still hoping.

_Can this be it? Are we defined in the stars to end this way? If so, I'll deny fate this time. I won't let my life be swept away, to take it where it wants me to go. I can fight, and I'm not alone._

Those tears she had shed had finally dried, taking some of the suffering that she felt with them. The nervous pacing stopped, turning into a silent prayer, where she pleaded with whatever higher power there was to give her another chance to make things right. She didn't know what she would do if she lost her knight.

_Would I turn into another Ultimecia? Hatred in its purest form? Utter destruction, annihilation? Would I take away the happiness of others, because I lost mine? I can't lose him!_

Her pacing picked up again, continuing from where she had stopped. She didn't know how long she had been awake, but it didn't matter. Her eyes were stuck to those doors, her thoughts solely upon that person that lay in there. She waited. The time stretched unbearably long, her emotions running rampant through her as she clung to her hope like a lifeline. Seconds became minutes, minutes to hours. She hardly dared to blink, as if a blink would tear him away from her to eternally separate two souls.

And she watched as the door slowly opened, her heart pounding furiously in her as one lone, white-clad doctor stepped out of the room. She snapped her eyes on the face of the doctor, pleading for any information with only her eyes.

"He's alive, but I don't know if he'll make it. You can go see him."

Those words surged through her, erasing doubts and those images that had so been engraved in her mind. Without thinking, she nearly slammed the swinging doors against the walls as she made her way past the doctor into the room where Squall lay. She ran to the only bed where a person lay, dozing lightly with many bandages wrapped around his chest.

The tears that she had shed earlier came back as she looked again on the form of her sleeping knight, this time a river of tears. Her fears and doubt came back, her hope shoved aside as she saw just how weak and pale he was. The form in front of her blurred as the tears filled her eyes, openly weeping as she still couldn't believe what had happened between her and Squall. Her fingers ran themselves through his hair as she sat in a chair next to the bed and leaned over him, the feeling welcome but empty. The guilt rushed over her, leeching the strength from her as she buried her face in her hands and pondered the meaning of her existence. She didn't know what she wanted anymore.

_I was such a fool. I don't think I'll be able to take another breath without feeling guilty, if he doesn't survive. It'll be too much for me to handle. To think of what I had done to him; he's willing to die for me even though I betrayed him, and I had thrown that away when I left him. I don't deserve his love._

Her tears wiped away, the sunlight slightly warmed her skin as she looked to the dim light of the sunrise. She didn't know how long she stared at that image of how the sun seemed to hold so much joy and grief, together yet forever apart. Her eyes lowered down to the sleeping figure, and she broke down again, feeling the pain and the agony of the hell she put him through. Her eyes closed and tears streaming down her face, she wished she could change things; she wished she never left him.

A feather-light touch to her wet cheek startled her, as she opened her eyes in surprise. Those stormy blue-gray eyes that she had loved to look into seemed to have calmed down, tranquil. His hand wiped her tears as she didn't know what to think, feeling cleaner than ever and her inner thoughts soothed by his touch. And his hand broke contact with her skin and slumped weakly to his side, his eyes closing along with the window to his emotions.

He had forgiven her.

---

A/N: Err ... I bet most of you didn't see that coming, did you? I can feel the flames already. Yeah, yeah, I needed something big to make Squall rethink of what he wanted to do. Anyways, one of the reasons why I had to include that was because of the nightmare that Rinoa had. For some mysterious reason, in many other fanfics, nightmares are perfectly accurate to the last detail. So what if they aren't? Had to mess with your minds! Hehehe. This is the last chapter, but I still have an Epilogue coming up.

bembem: Thanks for beta-reading; what you said means a lot to me! I enjoyed writing this chapter, as far as trying to see what it would have felt like from each person's point of view if I were them.

Leonhart Loire: Wow! Thanks for the compliment! I love your writing too, ya know (God, that sounds like Raijin).

dayon: I'm not even going to bother. Look at the genre.


	6. Epilogue

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII and all its characters are property of SquareSoft

A/N: Early author's note...for those who hate 'happy endings', read no further than the first six paragraphs. Stop there and hit the back button on your browser. Thank you and have a nice day. Otherwise, read on. This is my attempt at an ending that is not clichéd or done like a million times. If it is clichéd, tell me and I'll make sure I get it right the next time. Promise!

~-~

**Twilight** by remote_mine

Epilogue

The world mourned the passing of Squall Leonhart, ex-commander of Balamb Garden, at the age of twenty-five. A funeral service was held at the orphanage site, as a final respect to one of the greatest SeeDs in the world.

Seifer watched the funeral procession from his perch in a tree, hidden from anyone that still wanted revenge for what he had done during the Sorceress War. He saw the respect, the respect he had wanted so much given to his rival who was considered one of the greatest men ever born. His familiar smirk had softened from the years, but it still covered his mouth as he could only think of one thing at the moment.

_If you could see, you'd understand._

He made a conversation with his only rival, directing his thoughts as if Squall could hear him.

But maybe Squall understood too well. _But I understand you, too. You never wanted any of this. You hate the adoration, which I lived off of. We're opposites, beyond any conceivable meaning. Hope you're happy._

He could only watch as the casket was lowered into the ground and rows of SeeDs lifted their rifles. The loud bark of the blanks filled the air as they fired, as a sign of respect to those present.

A slight grin covered his mouth. Only two people knew the truth, and both of them were at the funeral. He turned his eyes over to his first girlfriend, to who he had believed he had loved. He knew no one would disturb her, even though Odine was still searching for her. Her friends saw to that she wasn't disturbed.

His final conversation with Squall was relived as the dirt was being filled over the grave.

_"I can't make up what I've done to you, but I'll help you in any way I can."_

_"This is my only request, Seifer. If you do this, I'm calling it even."_

_"I'm listening."_

_"Fake my death, with Rinoa's help. Tell her that I said 'I'll be waiting.' Now get me the hell out of here."_

The chill of the morning didn't touch him as he had helped Squall out of the Garden to where Squall wanted to wait, no one the wiser. He knew Squall would survive, as that man had been to hell and back. Rinoa had shared her life force with Squall. Their sharing of their life force had bound them closer than anything else ever could. When one died, the other would too.

So Seifer could only grin as he recalled the way Rinoa's eyes lit up again when he told her about what Squall wanted to do. They had planned it carefully, step by step. A fake illusion of Squall was made in his place and was the one that was 'placed' into the coffin. The world didn't know better.

He came back to the present, as the tombstone was placed to mark the spot where Squall lay. Rinoa was off to his side, head bowed toward the marker. Feathers drifted down from the sky, its white in stark contrast to the vibrant colors of the field not far from the orphanage. The feathers swirled around Rinoa as he watched in amazement, a tornado of white that got closer and closer and finally covering her from sight. The whiteness was such a sharp contrast to the rest of the scenery that he nearly had to shield his eyes. And when the feathers dissipated, she was gone.

_Live your life to the fullest, Rinoa. _He sent out that thought, knowing that she already was doing exactly that.__

~-~

She shivered at the chill of the bitterly cold air, wrapping her cloak tighter around her. The night sky did nothing to warm her as she observed the twinkling stars in the enormous expanse above her with her eyes. She didn't really think of where she was going, wanting warmth away from the cold air. Quickening her pace, she caught up to the only other person and huddled closer to him for warmth.

"So where are we going?"

"You'll see when we get there. It's a surprise." Squall glanced at her and gave her a grin at her question, knowing how much it annoyed her whenever she didn't know what he was going to do.

Rinoa grumbled at his non-answer, wanting to bug him until he would tell her. But she enjoyed the idea of a surprise, even though they had trudged through the Trabian mountains for a few days, to get to some obscure location. So she sighed and stuck her hands into his jacket pockets, trying to get some of the sensation back into her hands. She gave him a slight smile as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer while they walked toward that destination that only he knew. She put her cheek to the fluffy collar of his jacket, the feeling soothing to her skin.

The crunch of the snow was the only thing they could hear apart from the wind that blew around them, kicking up the snow that had fallen on the trees. And before she knew it, she had already dozed off to the repetitive sounds and the tiredness that crept up from the constant hiking through the snow.

She woke up to the feeling of movement, and realized that she had fallen asleep. "Oops. Sorry."

"Don't worry about it. We're almost there."

He stopped for a moment and helped her off his back, having given her a piggyback ride just like when he carried her on that bridge to Esthar. She rubbed her hands together and hurried back to his side, wanting the warmth again.

"How long was I asleep?"

"Not long, maybe half an hour."

"And you had to carry me."

"You're lighter now than when I carried you on my back to Esthar."

"No one told me that. Tell me about it."

"When you were in your coma, I carried you on that bridge from FH to Esthar. It was then that I told you some of the things I felt. I didn't understand it myself. You were always easy to talk to, but it was even easier then."

"You gave me a piggyback ride? I must've enjoyed that the entire way there."

"Well, you didn't as you weren't conscious."

"Fine. Well, then you can show me now!"

"Alright. Hop on my back again."

She wrapped her arms around his neck as he positioned his arms under her legs and stood up. He continued on as she looked around, taking in the surroundings. She tightened her grip on him as he imperceptibly slowed while climbing a somewhat steep hill of snow. When they got to the top, nothing could prepare her for the sight.

For a moment, the wind calmed as she looked out at the scene before her eyes. She saw the way the light from the rebuilt Trabia Garden struck the snow, glowing as a beacon of light in the darkness. The only word that could define what she saw was 'perfect.' And what made it even more perfect was the fact that the person that she loved was by her side.

"Selphie's work. She was the one who led the project to rebuild it." He answered her unspoken question.

"It's beautiful." A comfortable silence came over them, as they looked at the Garden that had been nearly obliterated years ago. "What time is it?"

"I don't know. Let's look for a shooting star."

And when she looked at the stars, she got lost in how they glittered in the dark void of the night. She knew that if a shooting star did come, she already had her wishes fulfilled.

She had been given a second chance; him, a third.

She climbed off his back and lay in the snow as he lay down too, both staring up at the stars in each others arms. The night continued, as she lay basking in the fact that she felt so much more alive by his side than at any other point in her entire life. The dim glimmer of the pre-sunrise light gave the silent answer to her question.

_Twilight.___

---

A/N: Yes, here's another Author's Note. Blah blah, is it sappy? I really don't think of Squall being super-romantic and all that, which is why I tried to show him being affectionate in a different way. Like at the end of the game, that's when he kisses Rinoa, even though there have been numerous signs before that he likes her. Tell me if I characterized him well or not.

bembem: Thanks for your support throughout this entire fic...I can't give enough thanks! I appreciate all the help you gave me with editing it, especially whenever I didn't see my mistakes! Oh, and I'm honored as to what you think of the last chapter. *hug*

BerlinBrownEyes: If you read through the entire Epilogue, you're probably hating me a lot right now...I don't blame you, because I tend to want to throw up whenever I read another fic ending where Rinoa and Squall are playing with their kid(s) in Winhill or living at a beach somewhere (and Squall's super-romantic and all that crap). What's up with beaches?! I intentionally had the part with Seifer and Rinoa at the beach 'cuz I was sort of making fun of those 'oh yay live at a beach happily ever after'...this one wasn't that at the beginning, was it? I had sworn not to do a clichéd ending, so if this is one, tell me and flame me and I'll make a non-clichéd one sometime.

Dark Rinoa36: I'm an evil, evil reviewer. Glad you enjoyed 'Twilight'...I enjoyed writing it! Oh, and as for the 'review' thing, it looks like that people only review on the day I update this with a new chapter. I don't really mind. Most of the reviews I got so far have been positive, so I'm not really complaining.


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